What Would a Family Real Estate Planning Session Actually Look Like?
A Family Real Estate Planning Session is a no-obligation conversation that maps every real estate decision your family is likely to face — organized in three layers: Today, Next, and Family. It usually happens years before a transaction, and often the outcome is a timeline rather than a listing.
I'm Lori Millam, a certified Real Estate Planner. Here is what that conversation looks like, who it's for, and what you walk away with.
Why should the planning conversation start before the transaction?
Most real estate decisions are made under pressure. A job changes. A parent falls. A marriage ends. A house that "we'll deal with someday" suddenly needs to be dealt with this month.
When that happens, families make big financial decisions quickly, with incomplete information and a lot of emotion in the room. The price, the timing and the family relationships all pay for it.
Planning early changes that. When you already know what your home is worth, what it would need to sell well, and who in your family has a stake in the decision, a hard moment becomes a series of steps instead of a crisis.
That's why I think of myself as an advisor first. The plan exists years before the transaction.
What are the three layers of a real estate plan?
Every planning session is organized around the same three layers. I call them YOU · NEXT · FAMILY, and we walk through them in order.
1. Today (YOU) — Is your current home still the right fit?
2. Next — What is likely to change in the next 3–10 years?
3. Family — Who in your family may have a real estate need before you do?
Layer 1 — Today: Is your current home still the right fit?
We start with where you are right now. Questions we talk through:
• Does the layout still work — stairs, bedrooms, laundry, yard?
• What does the home cost you each month and each year, including upkeep?
• What would it realistically sell for today, and what would it need first?
• Are there repairs you've been putting off that are quietly growing?
Sometimes the answer is "this home fits beautifully — stay." That's a good outcome. Knowing it on purpose is different from assuming it.
Layer 2 — Next: What changes in the next 3–10 years?
This is where most of the planning value lives. We look ahead at the life events that tend to drive real estate decisions:
• Retirement, or a change in work
• Kids leaving home — or coming back
• A move closer to grandchildren, or to warmer weather for part of the year
• Health and mobility
• A second home you'd like to buy — or one you're ready to let go of
We don't need to predict the future. We just want to know which decisions are likely coming, so you can see them early and give yourself options.
Layer 3 — Family: Who may have a real estate need before you do?
Real estate decisions rarely belong to one person. In many families, the most urgent need isn't yours at all:
• An aging parent whose home is becoming harder to manage
• An adult child saving for a first home
• A sibling sharing ownership of an inherited property
• A family going through divorce, where the home is part of the settlement
When we map these needs together, we often find that one family's decisions are connected. A parent's downsizing, a child's first purchase and a lake place nobody uses may all be part of the same conversation.
What about lake homes, land, rentals and second homes?
For many Minnesota families, the largest real estate decisions aren't about the primary home. They're about the cabin up north, the rental duplex, the farmland that's been in the family for decades.
These properties often carry the most emotion and the least planning. A planning session gives each of them a place on the map: what it's worth, what it costs to hold, who wants it, and what happens to it later.
Who else belongs in the conversation?
Real estate is only one part of a family's financial picture. A good plan often includes other professionals, and part of my role is making sure the right people are at the table at the right time:
• An estate planning attorney — for wills, trusts, titling and how property passes to the next generation
• A CPA or tax advisor — for the tax consequences of selling, keeping or transferring property
• A financial advisor — to fit the real estate into your overall plan
• A senior move manager — when downsizing or moving a parent is part of the picture
If you already work with any of these professionals, I'm glad to coordinate with them. If you don't, I can introduce you to people I trust.
If you trust me with your family, I'm going to be thoughtful about who I trust with them too. I only introduce people I would hand my own family to.
This article is general information, not tax or legal advice. Talk with your attorney or tax advisor about your specific situation.
What do you walk away with?
You walk away with clarity — and usually with something on paper:
• A picture of each property your family owns and roughly what it's worth
• A list of the decisions that are likely coming, and when
• A realistic timeline, even if the first step is years away
• The names of any professionals who should be part of the next step
• The questions you want to bring to your family
Often, the plan says "not yet." That's a perfectly good plan.
Who is a planning session for — and who isn't it for?
It's a good fit if you:
• Are thinking about downsizing in the next few years
• Are helping a parent decide whether to stay in their home
• Own a second home, rental or land and aren't sure what comes next
• Are going through a divorce and need to understand your options for the home
• Have adult children who will need help getting into their first home
It's probably not what you need if you:
• Have already decided to sell and want to list this month — in that case, let's talk about pricing and preparation instead
• Are looking for tax or legal advice — that belongs with your CPA or attorney, and I'm happy to work alongside them
Frequently asked questions
Is a real estate planning session a sales meeting?
No. The goal is a plan, not a listing. Many families leave with a timeline that's years away, and that's exactly what the session is for. If and when you're ready to buy or sell, you'll already know your options.
What is a certified Real Estate Planner?
A certified Real Estate Planner is a real estate professional trained to help families look at real estate as part of their long-term planning — across life stages and generations — rather than only as a single transaction. I also hold the Real Estate Collaboration Specialist in Divorce (RCS-D) designation, for families navigating the home during a divorce.
How long does a planning session take?
The initial Discovery Meeting typically runs 60 to 90 minutes. Every situation is different, though, and we won't rush the process. We want to make sure we have all the facts, so we can share the best recommendations and you can make informed decisions about your financial and real estate goals.
Do I need to be thinking about selling?
No. Many people come in simply wanting to understand their options. Some decide to stay, some decide to plan for a move years from now, and some realize the most important decision belongs to someone else in the family.
Can my parents or adult children join?
Yes, and I encourage it. Real estate decisions affect the whole family, and the conversation goes better when the people involved hear the same information at the same time.
Start your family's plan
A planning session is the easiest first step you can take — no pressure, no listing, just a clear picture of what's ahead. Request your Family Real Estate Planning Session through our contact page: https://millamrealestategroup.com/contact
Every Moment.
Every Milestone.
Every Generation.
